You Have Many Friends on Facebook, But That Many Times You Feel Just Right?

We have the impression that we are more “connected” than ever thanks to Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Tinder or Snapchat… but then why ever you are most lonely?

Ana rises each morning, eat breakfast, shower is and sits teleworking on the computer. Sometimes they go six, seven, eight hours unless you practically know it. Without just lifting the screen. It not only gives you hard keyboard, it is not a workaholic. Every few minutes ago stoppages for comment through the internal chat of your company, ojea your Twitter timeline, exchanged a couple of opinions and even He keeps a pair of parallel discussions by different vehicles: WhatsApp, in one Google chat, in another Facebook, Twitter direct messages…

And however, It takes all day without crossing a word of truth with anyone. Or a look. Not even a gesture.

A recent study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation in the United Kingdom found that a large majority of respondents aged 16-30 was up to four times more just than respondents that exceeded the barrier of 50.

Yes, amazing. Four times more alone than our elders.

Despite being all day glued to the mobile.

Despite the multiple WhatsApp (according to the same study, about forty a day).

Despite an average of 338 friends on Facebook (more data from the study).

Anyone would say that that connection is fictitious and that the only thing real is the solitude, a loneliness that every day grows more, like a contagious epidemic.

We have the impression that networks social they open up avenues to connect with other people, but when it comes to the truth they are not a substitute for a real human relationship and you can even causing the opposite effect, as they discovered Kraut and his team in a study whose findings you can read in this interesting article.

We tend to consider social networks as to relate to other safe havens, we appreciate how easy it is to connect with people with whom we share interests and to reach out to them, even when they separate us miles away, but it is difficult to know if the person who is on the other side is really in cyberspace.

Relationships that remain on the surface.

Experts say that’s why a connection through the Internet can never replace a real.

And however, because of the chaotic lives that we carry, we tend to rely on social networks that this important aspect of our lives rather than follow the traditional path. For example, another study by the Royal Society Open Science discovered that up to the 25 years we prioritize friendship, but that from that age, when we started head to the adult world and embark on relationships, job promotions and solutions to pay the mortgage don’t care for that which until then was the most important thing.

And then we passed as to Beatriz, a designer who moved from Ourense to Madrid with 28 years: “I graduated from the University with good grades and a job offer and when I landed in Madrid was so focused on my career that I didn’t have time to make friends and I thought that I would suffice to keep in touch with my gang always via Facebook” explains. “Six months later I realized that I spent all my free time completely alone.” Moreover, I felt very alone. He had pressed myself so much for living up to the work that I had forgotten everything else”.

Many of his friends are still instructing Beatriz by WhatsApp or Facebook messages all the time. “But isn’t the same one that you see them in person,” acknowledged, “especially on weekends, when I have nothing to do and the House falls me over”.

These experiences are not equivalent to the real friendship.

Experts insist that be constantly connected is not the same as connect and the face to face continues to gain on Facebook by a landslide (or at least, that says this study at the University of Oxford). Nor ever will be it, especially because the online contact is an illusion to reduce the effects of the contact face to face and not taking into account key elements in the communication as the context, the non-verbal, and physical approach.

Psychologist and Professor of Social Psychology, Fernando Rodriguez mallet says that the interesting thing of “online social networks is demanding the brain (a brain that was slowly formed 200,000 years ago) we break everything that he tends to look for social interaction: see, touch, hear, believe us impressions of others from the face to face…” “So that we now force the brain to this new way of relating to, and not always does it very well, so we can frustrate us a lot.”

About loneliness and its importance to health, Fernando Rodríguez Mazo speaks of research a few months ago by John Cacioppo and changes at the genetic level that could cause loneliness. According to their findings in people who feel alone genes related to the immune system are expressed in such a way that they weaken it against possible infections.

“But the relationship between social networks and well-being or malaise by being alone is not direct” insists this psychologist, “but there are other variables involved explaining if someone without real friends will feel worse or better by spend all day on Facebook.”

Although there are exceptions, as in everything, so it cannot be said that any social network take you erode to loneliness, or those who are alone in real life will separate more of the face to face by being connected to Facebook all day. Indeed, there are studies that argue that they can be a good way to connect socially to the disconnected: “it has been discovered that people without friends, for because afraid of relationships face to face (for example because they have harassed you), or because they live isolated, that connection to social networks online is very positive and feel socially connected”, says Fernando Rodríguez Mazo.

Practitioners insist however that we cannot trust this important part of our life on social networks: “is a bit deshumanizador. Always we have known people with which we have shared interests, we have been for a drink, we called them and we have participated in activities with them. Sit in front of a screen to send messages to the other takes away all of the emotional component.”

So perhaps the solution is quite easier than what we imagined, even though right now it seem crazy: stop looking at the screen of our mobile and Let’s go to the street to get together with people of truth.


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